Maverick musician and social crusader, Charles Oputa a.k.a Charly Boy, and his south American born wife, Diane, popularly known as Lady D, have remained, an item after 35 years of marriage.Some critics believe their union is a case of birds of a feather that flock together. But the couple have a different opinion as they share the secrets of their marriage as well as how they weathered the storms of cultural boundaries and still remain as husband and wife.
How I met my wife
I met my wife in 1974/1975 in a hair saloon in Boston, USA. I went to do my hair there
when I saw this beautiful lady with an overflowing hair.I admired her beauty and decided I was going to invite her to a party that never happened. She accepted my invitation and the party was just me and her in my limousine and I asked my driver to drive us round town. While we were cruising, we talked and that was how we started.I met my wife in 1974/1975 in a hair saloon in Boston, USA. I went to do my hair there
Attraction
She has a child’s spirit; almost like shy. Also, she has the best figure I have ever seen in a woman. Of course, she was pretty, but I think it was her spirit that attracted me to her.
She has a child’s spirit; almost like shy. Also, she has the best figure I have ever seen in a woman. Of course, she was pretty, but I think it was her spirit that attracted me to her.
Love at first sight
No, it wasn’t. I was looking forward to coming back home and settling down. It wasn’t much of love at first sight than more of companionship at a time.
No, it wasn’t. I was looking forward to coming back home and settling down. It wasn’t much of love at first sight than more of companionship at a time.
Married twice
Yes, I was prepared to settle down before I met her. I had been married twice or thrice but it didn’t work out for me. I was leaving one relationship when I met her. More or less, she was filling the gap kind of a thing.
Marrying a woman from another cultural background
She comes from the southern part of America. They are more inclined to the homeliness kind of thing. She didn’t have any problem readjusting after all, we started from the village. When I returned to the country, and completed my youth service, I had problem with my parents because they didn’t support what I wanted to do for myself.
She comes from the southern part of America. They are more inclined to the homeliness kind of thing. She didn’t have any problem readjusting after all, we started from the village. When I returned to the country, and completed my youth service, I had problem with my parents because they didn’t support what I wanted to do for myself.
I couldn’t take it, hence I disowned them. That was how I relocated to the village to put myself together. I started the Charly Boy brand in the village and she was with me for about eight years there before we moved to Lagos. So, I think I’m a lucky bastard.
My parents’ reaction
My parents had met her several times in Boston. I didn’t know she was going to be my wife. I wanted to marry a Nigerian and not an American. But she was all over me, and when I wanted to return to Nigeria in 1980/1981, she bought her own ticket under the guise that she was coming to spend two weeks in Nigeria, only for her to end up spending six months.
My parents had met her several times in Boston. I didn’t know she was going to be my wife. I wanted to marry a Nigerian and not an American. But she was all over me, and when I wanted to return to Nigeria in 1980/1981, she bought her own ticket under the guise that she was coming to spend two weeks in Nigeria, only for her to end up spending six months.
So, my parents were worried that she should go back to her country to give me chance to look for a wife. She was supposed to book for a ticket to return to America. One day, she woke up and said to me: “Marry me or I will never come back to Nigeria.” That was how I was intimidated into marrying her. I didn’t propose to her, rather she was the one who proposed to me. That ‘s why I said I was intimidated into marrying her.
35 years after
It’s like a moving coaster. We have had our low as well as our high moments. Sometimes, it’s good, at other times, it’s averagely good. We have had our issues, but, above every other thing, I think we have great understanding and respect for each other; love and trust for each other. Also, we were willing to work out anything that will keep us together. That’s why I think we have come this far.
It’s like a moving coaster. We have had our low as well as our high moments. Sometimes, it’s good, at other times, it’s averagely good. We have had our issues, but, above every other thing, I think we have great understanding and respect for each other; love and trust for each other. Also, we were willing to work out anything that will keep us together. That’s why I think we have come this far.
Strength of our marriage
Great understanding, mutual respect and a lot of communication.
Hanging out
These days, I really don’t hang out. In fact, I don’t have a social life any more. At 7 pm, I’m already in my bed. My house is like a castle. We have done all the going out in the past, but that does not mean that we should stop going out. That’s why every six months, we try to come up with an idea just to keep abreast of time. Like I said, we are determined to make our marriage work and to find ways that we can keep reinventing ourselves and keeping our interests in each other going.
These days, I really don’t hang out. In fact, I don’t have a social life any more. At 7 pm, I’m already in my bed. My house is like a castle. We have done all the going out in the past, but that does not mean that we should stop going out. That’s why every six months, we try to come up with an idea just to keep abreast of time. Like I said, we are determined to make our marriage work and to find ways that we can keep reinventing ourselves and keeping our interests in each other going.
What I don’t like about her
What I don’t like about her is the thing I like about her. She is like a child, she’s so innocent and naïve. I keep being afraid, if I’m not around, who protects her. Sometimes I quarrel with her that she’s too trusting.
What I don’t like about her is the thing I like about her. She is like a child, she’s so innocent and naïve. I keep being afraid, if I’m not around, who protects her. Sometimes I quarrel with her that she’s too trusting.
That innocence, I think I have a lot of that in me, that’s why I have always remained a boy. You know, children are open-minded about a lot of things.
I don’t want to be calculative; I want to be like that boy, I just want to play. That’s the spirit that attracted me to her. That’s the same spirit I wish I could change in her because Nigeria is a very treacherous place and one needs to be very careful.
What I cannot do for her
Following the deep friendship that we share, I can almost do anything for her. She has become my baby, my angel and my best friend ever. I don’t even see her as a wife, rather I see her as my body.
Advice to young couples
I don’t think most couples respect themselves. And if there is no respect, there will be no understanding.But in a marriage where there is respect and understanding, the couple will approach any problem that comes their way with that kind of mindset. If I do something that is out of order, I quickly apologise to my wife. For longevity in marriage, there should be great friendship, understanding and a lot of communication and determination to want to stick to it and make it work.
If he has not proven to be a family man, I probably wouldn’t have been in Nigeria — Wife